Debbie's answer

This is one of the hardest situations for a parent, because you're caught between two things that both matter: taking her distress seriously, and not wanting avoidance to become the pattern. The physical complaints (tummy aches, feeling sick) anxiety genuinely produces real physical symptoms in children, it isn't "faking it." A few starting points: - Get curious, not just reassuring. Rather than "there's nothing to worry about," try "something's making mornings really hard — help me understand what." Even "I don't know" is useful information; it tells you she may not have the words yet. - Keep the routine as steady as you can. Maintaining the school routine (even with extra support) tends to prevent avoidance from taking hold, whereas time off, while it feels kind in the moment, can sometimes make returning harder. - Inform the school. A quiet word with her teacher can reveal things you can't see from home — friendship shifts, a change in a classroom, something at lunchtime. - Watch the timeline. A few difficult mornings is different from weeks of this. The longer it goes on, the more it's worth taking seriously as its own thing rather than a phase to wait out. This is genuinely one of those situations where I'd really want to sit down properly with you — there's usually a specific "why" underneath school refusal, and finding it is most of the way to solving it.

Debbie's answer

The intensity of that reaction is actually really common, and it's worth understanding why before jumping to consequences. For a lot of children this age, screens (especially games) offer something they don't always get elsewhere — a sense of control, achievement, and social connection. When that gets switched off abruptly, it can genuinely feel like losing something important, not just "having fun taken away." That doesn't mean the shouting is okay, but it helps explain why it happens. A few things worth trying: - Give a countdown, not a cut-off. "Ten minutes left, then five" gives their brain time to disengage rather than being yanked out mid-activity. - Build in a landing point. Games especially are hard to leave mid-level. Agree in advance on a natural stopping point ("after this round") rather than an arbitrary time. - Involve them in the plan. Children are far more likely to stick to limits they had a hand in setting. Ask what feels fair to them, then negotiate from there. - Notice what happens after. Sometimes the meltdown isn't really about the screen — it's the first time all day he's had to sit with boredom, frustration, or tiredness without a distraction. If this is happening every single day and it's escalating rather than easing, that's a pattern I'd want to look at properly with you — there's often something underneath it that a quick tip won't fully solve.

Debbie's answer

Hi, It's almost always rooted in earlier experiences of hunger or unpredictability. Their nervous system is still bracing for scarcity, even though things have changed. A few things that help: Don't punish or shame it — that tends to confirm the fear, not resolve it. Keep food visibly available as you are now, like a snack basket they can access anytime. It quietly teaches "there's enough." Stay calm if you find hidden food. Something like, "You can always ask me for more," said without alarm, does more. Expect this to take time — often months of steady, calm responses before it eases. If it's a deeper or ongoing pattern, that's worth exploring together in a full consultation, where I can build a plan around your child specifically.